dont ask me for relationship advice because i will always just tell you to break up w/ them and throw their shit in a dumpster because i do not understand the concept of allowing anyone to treat you poorly this is a zero tolerance zone
A friend linked me these because he thought they’d be relevant to me, he was extremely correct. If these pieces of advice aren’t relevant to you, improve yourself until they are.
A good chunk of Tumblr could benefit from this.
new car new car! exactly like my old one except it’s grey and has a rear spoiler. i have a type
i love people responding to their pets’ noises with ‘i know’
hilarious and scarily accurate. i’ll definitely be out of style this year since i can’t put my rescue dog in my rental 2014 nissan altima, but i can rock the khaki shorts and thoroughbred stallion hat like nobody’s business.
When people ask how you’re doing at the end of the semester
(seductively licks lips)
(grabs your wrist)
(furiously hits you with your own hand)
WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY AR